I made it!

Am feeling very good this evening. Have taken another big step I think towards getting over this post natal depression. I've been running for a few weeks now as i am trying to action the advice I had to do something for me. I used to run loads and loved it. It gives me time to relax which I know some people think sounds a bit odd!

Anyway, since having kiddiwinks I haven't really been able to run. I tried it after Arty was born but stopped, telling myself that my fitness had gone and being annoyed and slightly fed up I think that my running wasn't as it used to be. So I started, slowly slowly and this evening I have managed to run about 4 miles (including hills) with two big achievements - I didn't stop and.....wait for it....I ran to Nelsons birth place! Now I know that might seem a bit strange to be so excited about this but having seen it on the good old ordnance survey (I love those maps, they are so great, perhaps the greatest maps in the world) I decided it was my goal to build up to getting there whilst on holiday. So I was very excited to see the plaque to Nelson....the house having been pulled down in the 1800s.

The running is definitely helping with the PND - not only does it give me a bit of time to myself, it also makes me feel better about myself and counters the sheer amount of cake I like to eat! Stopping the breastfeeding has opened up a whole new set of options for exercise which is great. It's funny as the doctor actually told me to stop breastfeeding - now this is not a normal doctor thing to do! I fretted about it for ages - the breastfeeding lobby had worked their magic on me and the guilt I felt as I thought about stopping was immense. I stopped reading articles about it as it just stressed me out and I got too annoyed by the righteousness of some of the people writing them and acting like you were the biggest evil ever for stopping. The doctor said that whilst breastfeeding is the best thing if it works for you and the baby, sometimes it can make the baby too dependent on the mother when the mother needs her own time and space to get her head back. Happy mother = happy baby. I am glad I stopped. I did it slowly so kept it up until just over 5 months but the difference it has made in terms of my ability to get out a bit more, Isobel's ability to have more time with me (Arty took forever to breastfeeding and about 5 mins with a bottle!), Peter's opportunity to have more time with him and his reduced vomiting and improved skin as a result (I know, weird that - it's meant to be better with breast milk but we had the reverse) is fantastic. And I can wear great bras again - hoorah :-)