The Olympics are coming......

The Olympic fever has hit - there is pink (well, maybe purple) everywhere you look in London and on my way to work on Monday I noticed a whole new pavement had been built! Great for the pedestrians like me....not so great for the buses and everyone else trying to drive.  Answer - we should all walk more - better for the planet, better for our health, better for the NHS budget!

Anyway, I digress.  Isobel and Arthur went to see the torch on Friday.  I say went to see the torch.  They were dragged along by me, despite their protests (ok - these were more on the way home when tiredness kicked in) and we all sat and had a picnic (at the side of the road of course) whilst we waited.  The Coca Cola bus was there as well as some other random sponsor-related traffic (eg. Lloyds cars and people with big green balloons!)

And fun was had! Ok I had to hold Isobel on my shoulders and Arty in my arms which almost caused a seizure but we saw the flame!  Getting home from the flame was a different matter - lots of tantrums by a collapsed little girl who decided the middle of the road was the best place to undertake such an activity! 'Set some boundaries' someone at work said - as if I haven't set a 'don't collapse in the middle of the road boundary'....

Anyway.  Moving on, Peter and I have also been undertaking a bit more naked Chef-ing, this time testing out some Jamie O recipies for fennel.  So we had a lovely risotto with seafood and fennel which was very very yummy (lots of chilli to which is always good) and then followed this with encrusted seared tuna with a fennel and chilli salsa.  Both of these recipes are strongly recommended - really really yummy.  Kids didn't manage to eat any this time though!

Look at that delicately sprinkled fennel on the top there - nouvelle cuisine I think!

And finally, after months of having it sit on the shelf, we broke out the 10 Minute Solutions Pilates Video.  'No problem, my arms are really strong' said Peter as we started the 10 minute arm work out.  at the end the lady says 'Good Job' (with a very strong American accent).  Peter and I can barely lift our arms!  Still, a change from running.

The chef/chefess is tired!

Look at that - home made farfalle!

We have been so busy! I am sooo tired.

I am still chuckling over 'Can I give them back yet?' which makes people look at me on the train.  In particular I found myself chuckling at stories of the 'post-natal' period and in particular those first few nights in hospital when your partner gets sent home at 8pm leaving you there with a new baby, no sleep, no idea what you are doing, and highly likely, quite unhelpful night staff (well, in my case they were unhelpful, quite is being too polite!).  The description in the book was so apt - 'your partner gets sent home at 8pm to drink champagne, have some sleep and congratulate themselves on their amazing virility'.  Ha ha, so true.

And then I think about the following morning when I sat on the edge of the bed waiting for visiting hours to start....and the appointed hour came...and no visitor to relieve me and let me go and have a shower!  I forgot that it was a Bank Holiday and I'd asked him to go and get some supplies!  I remember watching the woman opposite me, on baby number 3, who merrily put a dummy in, swaddled her baby and wandered off for a few hours to 'go get some faaagggsss'.  There I was, wondering - can I leave her? What happens if I leave her? Will someone take her? I must not leave her.  Where is my husband? Where has my brain gone?

Then Arty was born. I went to have a shower and didn't wait for any visitors.  Poor Arty.

Anyway, I digress.  Peter and I have been very busy on the Jamie O Naked Chef challenge front.  Firstly, Peter made a Chicken and Ginger broth from the left over chicken (with noodles, ginger, chilli and other such lovely things).  It was very easy, very quick and very very yummy.  So strongly recommended for a mid-week meal! Yum yum.

Then we moved on - this time to seared scallops with crispy bacon and puy lentils.  What can I say? I've never cooked with scallops before so this was all a novelty.  The lentils were great (and went well with sausages later in the week!) and the scallops only took a few moments to cook.  Now then, the picture perhaps doesn't do it justice, and I'm sure Jamie O would be shocked, but it was really really yummy and really really easy!

Look - it's steaming hot it's so fresh!

And finally, we made pasta.  Why did make more pasta? Well, mainly because we have embarked on a vegetable box trial so we now have some vegetables to use up - namely courgettes, green cauliflower, fennel and other things such as cherry tomatoes (all gone), red peppers (think I might stuff these) etc etc.

So, we made some pasta (see the farfalle above) and made the tagliatelle with courgette, lemon and basil.

Hence, we are shattered.  Too much cooking.

But have had some culture too - a trip to see the Gruffalo live at the theatre which was great (despite the calls/screams for 'I want to see the Gruffalo again mummy') and today I had a meeting in an office with a great view over London.  Just a shame that as with the rest of the summer so far, the weather was basically pants.

Here is the Shard on your left and the wheel below.

Green fingers? Who me?

Now then, would you look at that - a green pepper! Growing on our windowsill.  We have loads! So, we will mainly be eating peppers, potatoes, onions, garlic and leeks for the next few months!!

I'm pleased with myself as I've kept them growing and looking well while Peter has been away and even the tomatoes in the garden look good!

So, Peter is back - hoorah! The kids are beside themselves with excitement.  I'm beside myself with tiredness as suddenly I can stop and relax - and guess what, more insomnia! I hate insomnia.  But I'm getting better at dealing with it.  Anyway, the level of excitement with the kids is quite entertaining - it's like they have forgotten that mummy was looking after them day in, day out for a whole month! Mummy? Who is mummy? I want daddy!

And so I've been really chuckling as I read this book which was recommended to me as a bit of a light read.  How true so much of it is:

This won't spin round to be the right way up for some reason so you'll have to bend your head!

It's really making me chuckle.  It could have been written by me (but it's not and I can't write like this - but it's made me feel so much better that I'm not alone with some of my thoughts at times!) And here are a few snippets which had me laughing, especially the one related to daddy coming back!

DAD GLAMOUR

You're the primary carer, but as soon as Dad walks in, wow, they're cheering like it's snowing giant party bags stuffed with Gogos and fluffy kittens.  Now, to quote my four-year-old, that's not fair.

ALCOHOL

....you forget about the restorative powers of two Anadin, a cup of camomile tea and an early night.  Instead, you speed-read your way through The Gruffalo in order to get the Shiraz cracked open by 7.05.....

ENJOYING IT
.....appropriate questions to ask someone recently delivered of a child (as opposed to 'are you enjoying it')....

•  Are you tyrannised by parenting books
• Were you terrified of doing your first poo after labour? (ha ha - my husband was unaware of this issue until I laughed at the thought as I remembered the fear!!!)
• Have you rung NHS direct yet?

Anyway, onto more serious matters.  One of the things I read in the book sparked my interest in terms of a comment about research which had been undertaken on childcare options and impact on development.  It made me think of the guilt section of the book - the guilt trip society places on new mums in particular for not breastfeeding, not sneezing their baby out whilst listening to mozart etc.  And this comment made me think of the never ending media coverage about how parents are so bad for sending their kids to nurseries because they will be disfunctional and then the next day, how mothers need to get back to work and stop staying at home, then the next day how we all ought to have a nanny and so on and so on.

I did a quick google search for some stories to illustrate it:

• Nursery care = children turning into yobs - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-446564/Nurseries-turning-children-yobs.html
• Are nurseries bad for our kids - http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2004/jul/08/schools.uk
• Nurseries are better than grandparents - http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/feb/10/grandparents-childcare-pre-schoolhttp://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2009/feb
• Working mums are happier - http://www.everydayhealth.com/womens-health/1213/working-moms-vs-stay-at-home-moms-whos-happier.aspx
• Stay at home mums are more depressed - http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2012/05/23/stay-at-home-mums-more-angry-depressed-and-laugh-less-than-working-mothers/
• Is childcare bad for children (childcare which you need to go to work to be 'happier' apparently) - http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-therapy/201010/is-non-parental-daycare-bad-children

Best not to read these things I think is the answer!

And I finish on another happy note - I made a fabric tray.  I've been meaning to make one for ages but finally managed it, the night before Peter came home.  Mainly to stop  Peter putting his keys and other 'kipple' down on my newly painted windowsill!

How many weetabix should a baby eat?

Well, apparently Arthur likes to eat 3 for breakfast! Yes, 3! I almost fell over.  He had one at home before going to nursery where he then promptly tucked into another 2......Oh my! Surely that it not normal.  Are we creating a blimp baby? Do we have an obesity crisis in development???

Three weetabix.  That's more than me!

So, it made me think about a few things:

(a) obesity levels in children - apparently by 11, 33% of children are obese in the UK http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7777108.stm.  That's quite frightening.  Obviously there are many reasons for this and there are lots of commentators who look at issues such as lack of activity, over-eating, eating the wrong things, poverty levels etc.  It makes me think of the story regarding the health visitor who commented to a friend of a friend that she had people 'blending macdonalds meals' to give to their babies when they were weaning them.  Now some might argue that 'in poor areas, there isn't the access to fresh fruit and vegetables and that for some, Macdonalds might be the nearest place to get affordable food to eat'.  Others might say that it was to do with education.  But whatever the reason, it's clearly a sad state of affairs as what you eat whilst pregnant and then what the child eats in the first 2 years of life is so important for it's future development.

I went to an interesting talk the other week by a lady working in Zimbabwe who was looking at issues of malnutrition and stunting and trying to work out what the interactions were in the environment which were impacting on children.  She talked about the first 1000 days of life - http://www.thousanddays.org/about/ - and the work they are doing to monitor pregnant women and children up to 18 months/2 years.  The statistics on child stunting, malnutrition and longer term brain, bone etc development were quite stark. 

(b) Being outside - there are all those statistics being shared at the moment about how children aren't playing outside as much. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/8623152/Children-no-longer-enjoy-playing-outdoors.html

The other weekend we spent most of the time inside (it was raining and raining and raining) but we still managed to go bowling - Arthur wanted to rush off down the lane to get to the skittles!

This weekend the sun was shining as a result we spent the whole weekend outside and there were families everywhere - running around, playing football, flying kites and generally enjoying themselves.So, the National Trust has started this 50 Things to do by the time you're 11 and 3/4! I was reading this in some magazine last week and it made me smile - I want to try some of these!   the link is below - it makes me laugh as they have to have the 'Health and Safety' comments added too - don't climb a tree on a wet day, don't roll down a really steep slope and so on...

https://www.50things.org.uk/parents-area.aspx

Which ones would I have a go at in my slightly older age?  Here we go:

- bury someone in the sand (I buried my dad and brother when I was young - but think this needs to be done with a certain husband now!)
- hunt for treasure on a beach - preferably find some real treasure with real sparkly gold!
- get behind a waterfall (apart from the fake one at Wisley in the greenhouse)
- go on a nature trail at night
- go wild swimming (do Hampstead Heath ponds count...? probably not)
- find a geocache - what on earth is this? technology enabled treasure hunting. 

And on that note, I'm hungry and need to eat something.  It's cold and wet outside (well it is May!) so I'm off to find a cinammon bun from the freezer, one we made earlier:

Now we are three.....

And so far, we've been quite a challenge!  I find going to work to be a huge relief - is that wrong?  At work I can go to the toilet with no one wanting to get me out, scream at me, hit her brother and so on and so on.

Isobel has been crying.  A lot.  It's as though she turned three and decided to turn on the tears.  This sometimes brings me to tears.  Everything ends up being some form of tantrum or meltdown.  OK, so I might be exaggerating but that is how it feels!  I see other 3 year olds sitting there, quietly getting on with their jigsaw puzzle or drinking their drink and I wonder how they manage it as mine screams or runs around like a nutter!  It's not as though I don't try to discipline her - I've tried focusing on the 'big stuff' and not nit picking.  I've tried rewards/stickers.  I've tried the 'time out step'.  I'm worn out from trying!  I find myself blaming myself for having done something wrong - does she resent the fact that I'm back at work? Does she resent the fact that Arthur came along? Does she get enough to eat? Too much? Enough sleep? Too much?  I'm tired.  I'm tired of dreading my days off when she wakes up screaming and continues all day.  She is so lovely when she's calm and relaxed and playing but recently she just hasn't been doing that all that much!  Is it the PND, is it still there making me more sensitive or is it just her? Just a phase she is going through?

Juggling work and children is tiring.  I think it's tiring because you almost want your days at home with them to be lovely and to do lots of fun things.  So it's sad when they aren't and when your children don't seem to be happy.  The constant rushing from a to b - to drop them off, pick them up, make sure there is something to eat, pay the bills, get up earlier than normal is tiring too.  There also seems to be less time to see your partner!  I've taken than on too - trying to book in some time with babysitters so we can go out to the pub or something.  Peter is lovely, but he is also quite happy to just be in, putting the children to bed and sitting on the sofa (not necessarily watching TV as we have TV free nights!). I like that too, but I also want to feel like a person again - not just a mother to two lovely children!  A couple of hours out every now and then can make all the difference!

Anyway, I shouldn't moan.  We are all quite happy really and I'm lucky to have such great children and a lovely husband, however much they might challenge me at times!

I have a spotty and pooing baby!

How much poo?  I'm staggered.  He's barely eating anything and yet it still comes out!  Quite scary really, though it doesn't seem to upset him very much.  The doctor said 'give him flat lemonade' to help with rehydration.  He didn't like that.  He managed to clamp his mouth soooo tightly shut I thought someone might call social services if they saw me trying to find a way to syringe this liquid into his mouth!!! He's had some rehydration fluid today - doesn't like that either but I sneakily kept swapping between his milk and the fluid and so far so good.  Here's hoping he doesn't cotton on tomorrow!

I watched One Born Every Minute last night.  Why do I do that to myself?  I watch it and feel the stress levels rising - I'm amazed by the women who can give birth with no pain relief whatsoever, especially in about 3 seconds (OK, so I'm exaggerating).  Isobel didn't want to come out - it took forever.  I laugh when I hear midwives saying 'no, you're not in active labour yet, you're only 2 cm dilated' when you've been huffing and puffing and screaming in pain for 10 hours!  Only 8 more cm to go! Ha ha. Arthur was induced - well, they attempted to induce him, twice.  Did it work?  Did it hell.  There I was in the induction suite (sounds posh, it wasn't - it was very hot, as are most maternity units I think), and despite two lots of gel, huge amounts of vomit, lots of poking about looking to see if anything changed - nothing. Nada. And then there were the ladies who came in, just seemed to look at the induction gel stuff and were off, babies practically out in seconds! 

So, whilst watching One Born (and thinking to myself - never again), I heard one of the ladies on there saying 'I'll have failed if I have an epidural'.  And I thought to myself, how sad that is that the baby isn't even born and already women have somehow got this guilt complex going on that they have to have the perfect birth, perfect contractions, no drugs, gently humming etc otherwise they have failed.  In an ideal world maybe we would all just give birth whilst sitting in a pool of water surrounded by floating candles, relaxing music and the smell of freshly baked bread, but it's not ideal.  Someone said to me - think of all those women in Africa who just go into a hut and give birth with nothing, no drugs, nothing.  I know, I agree, I have huge respect for them.  But it's also worth thinking of the vast numbers who die in that process or whose babies die because they get stuck etc.  Anyway, I digress.  I suppose I just noted the whole 'guilt' thing starting so early.  I had an epidural.  Do I feel guilty?  No, I don't.  I had vomited for almost 2 days with Isobel and could barely scrape myself off the floor only to be told I was only 2 cm gone.  The midwife actually said - we need you to get some rest, you have a long way to go, and you need to have energy to deal with the new baby.  Isobel and Arthur are both here.  Both happy and both healthy.  And I'm here still, and healthy and happy (most of the time).  For me that was the end goal - to get the baby out safely and for me to be safe.  If that means I needed drugs, so be it.

These are a few of my favourite things

In my attempt to keep Isobel happy and calm over the weekend (she wasn't well either - both of them have produced a lot of bodily fluids out of both ends, it's just Arthur is continuing!), we all sat down in front of the Sound of Music.  And how she loves it.  She is completely transfixed.  And the good thing is, we all love the Sound of Music don't we - I mean, who can't smile as they sing-a-long to 'Climb every Mountain'.  I've been singing it whilst running too!  God bless it.  I downloaded the soundtrack yesterday, as well as Adele who I just think is a legend.  I love the way that when Adele sings she has that amazing voice and then she speaks and she sounds right sarf landan.  It's great.

Anyway, I was thinking of the sound of music and thinking about some of my favourite things which I should think about when feeling fed up and came up with the following (not a complete list of course):

Barafundle Bay - beautiful

• cold, crisp winter days (and ideally being out for a walk or run);
• turquoise sea which is crystal clear (and which exists in the UK yes indeed - we found some at Barafundle Bay in Wales);
• Isobel singing Baa Baa in bed when she wakes up;
• Freshly made coffee and freshly baked pain au chocolate;
• a hot shower without anyone telling me to hurry up;
• warm, snuggly socks;
• a nice glass of Champagne (well, why not);
• Peter making me dinner (!) - maybe I'll have dinner cooked tonight, it is Valentines afterall!
• banoffi pie;
• Victoria Sandwich Cake;
• fitting into a new pair of jeans;
• listening to Just a Minute on Radio 4.

What else?  I shall be pondering and putting some more up I think