'Mums aren't allowed to be ill'

So said the doctor last week when I took Arthur in covered in spots.  Luckily, Arthur is now better - he has stopped pooing and is back to his normal, Henry VIII feeding style self! There was me worried he was wasting away (well, not really - he was 10lb 12 when he was born after all!).  Now Isobel is poorly and Peter is poorly too - both with high temperatures, coughs and generally moping about.  As with most mums, apart from my little mental health issue (which I feel is almost dealt with), I battle on, fighting off high temperatures and dosing everyone with calpol and lots of water!

Yesterday I made some lovely pink bunting for Isobel - she was poorly and I thought 'I know what will cheer her up' - and I was very pleased.  My sewing wasn't straight but it's getting a bit better.  Tonight I put the fruit in to soak, all ready to bake a fruit brac which my mum used to make for us when we were little - I still remember it, wrapped in baking paper, with a small spread of butter and eating it on the train in France.  Looking forward to baking it tomorrow.

We were meant to be on 'holiday' this week.  A last week of fun before I go back to work (not that work isn't fun - well, the people are fun, the work is generally interesting, stressful and at times quite depressing).  Instead, Peter has been in bed, Isobel has been miserable and I've been washing and ironing!  I did get out for a lovely run today though - it was so lovely and warm and I ventured out into the woods for the first time.  It made me long for Spring when it will be slightly lighter in the evening.  The woods are so good for the soul - all the birds singing and no cars.  Really really enjoyed it.

In preparation for my return to work (the countdown has started - 10 days to go), I've been thinking about the plus points (as well as the negatives - mainly the stress involved in trying to get both kids to nursery, on the train, into the office and out again to pick them up whilst also doing a full days work....oh and the fact that my salary will basically be eaten by nursery fees, train fares and the council tax!).  So, plus points so far include (a) it's only 3 days a week; (b) I will be able to have a cup of tea/coffee and hopefully drink it without it going cold; (c) going to the toilet without a little voice hurrying me up; (d) talking about something sensible (whilst trying not to refer to myself as 'mummy'); (e) maybe even reading a book on the train if I can sit down!

I have also been trying to train my brain again to think in an office work way.  Obviously, one of the things which has annoyed me is that any mother (and many fathers too) probably have exceptionally strong organisational skills (get the kids ready, have some food in, have nappies and other necessaries to hand at all times etc.), negotiation skills (dealing with a toddler), management skills (managing children and husband and trying to fit in a bit of time for 'me'), planning and delivery skills etc - but these are basically seen as non-existent in terms of office work and the sometimes slightly 'down on stay at home mums' media.  Anyway, in terms of my office work brain, these are the things I've been doing:

- not reading the papers they have sent me as I can't quite bring myself to but instead reading 'Chasing the Devil' by Tom Butcher who is retracing the steps of Graham Greene in his book Journey without Maps which is all about walking through Sierra Leone and Liberia;
- reading about Somalia on Wikipedia and the BBC after watching the news about the Conference today and kind of wondering what difference it will make;
- watching Brian Cox on Horizon this evening about the search for 'peaceful' nuclear fusion (see here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00hr6bk).  Now this interests me.  I have a real interest in the climate change, peak oil, sustainability debates etc.  I recall a talk by Kevin Anderson from the Tyndall Centre on 'dangerous climate change' and whether we were already on a pathway which nothing can stop.  Not necessarily the most uplifting but it had links tonight with the Horizon programme which included some Professor calculating how the world might be able to achieve equitable energy use for everyone by 2030.  Basically it was quite depressing listening to him talk through how many wind turbines needed to be erected every minute, biogas pools every second, solar panels every second and so on - for the next 25 years.  (For more info on K Anderson check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Anderson_%28scientist%29)

And then I think - oh, yeeks, this is all far too serious.  Time to sit and look at fabric websites instead to consider what fabrics I can use to make some storage boxes for out lovely new cupboards (thanks to Mark at A1Class Joinery!).

Too many challenges?

I'm having a desire to change the colour of the font.  Had enough of black I think.

I've been thinking about the year and what it is going to bring - lots of challenges as I've said before.  So, what have I done?  Despite my best efforts I've found myself thinking about some new 'personal development' opportunities (mmmh, I've been thinking too much about work I think with that jargon!) I'd like to try out this year.....

What are they? Well, here goes:

- learn to crochet - I am left handed so knitting has always been a bit of a challenge.  However, someone recommended a book to me about crocheting for lefties so I'm going to give it a go!

- cook all the different types of pastry in Leith's baking bible (no, not in preparation for the Bake Off - despite Peter joking that I should give it a go) - so, flaky, rough puff, sweet, etc etc.  Not started that one yet.

- sew one item a month (I thought a month was vaguely manageable) - I've achieved this one for January having made another cushion cover.

- run a half marathon with my good friend Mrs WP.

- make a cake pop (I had one the other day - slightly strange, I wondered how they made them stick to the stick and not crumble everywhere....so I looked it up - and think I might give it a go!).

That's it - is that manageable?  I am thinking it is.  Let's see!

Oh some sewing at last

So, I found that focusing on some lovely new sewing goals has helped recently.  It's also avoided the baking (though I am still hoping to make some biscotti and stollen before the week is out - partly cos I love stollen).

So, Isobel has now another new hairband - I was quite excited by it!  I followed the same instructions from this great site Nina Makes - http://ninimakes.typepad.com/nini_makes/2007/08/very-easy-headb.html.  This time I slightly changed it though and added some lining to the top piece, just some light weight iron in lining.  Keeps the shape better now I think.  Isobel loved it and has worn it to be every night since!

Then I started work on some fabric storage boxes.  I have wanted to make some for ages and now they have a set of instructions in this months 'Making' magazine.  So, here is the box as it currently stands - just need to make the lining now:

This is the smallest one and is random yellow as my mum gave me some old fabric, including this yellow and some 1970s brown stuff which has yellow and orange in it:

Just looking for one more fabric to go with it and complete the theme!!  Any ideas welcome.

This morning Isobel decided to re-enact 'Guess How much I love you in the Autumn' and ran round the house as a box monster with the yellow box on her head!  Multipurpose sewing. That's what I like.

Finally some sewing & spiced apple chutney

Spiced apple chutney - cost about £0.50 a jar

I've had a lovely few runs since Peter got home.  I'm really trying to get to the top of a hill near our house without stopping.  I'm getting there though I'm almost sick when I get to the top!  Running really does lift my mood.  I noticed today that there is a running club in Sevenoaks specifically for women with depression - good idea I think, especially if people can start off running with others.  The club is called 'up and running' - http://www.upandrunninginsevenoaks.org.uk/Upandrunninginsevenoaks/Welcome.html

Much to Peter's concern, I've changed the morning radio station from Radio 4 to some music - whichever channel has the most uplifting music!  I love Radio 4 it must be said, the Today Programme, Just a Minute, The Politics Show, I've Never Seen Star Wars....oh and Woman's Hour.  However, I realised that happy music is making for a happier person - a bit of disco dancing to Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer just works it's magic and makes both little ones laugh and join in (I know someone who would be so happy with this - bringing back memories of that classy joint Infernos on Clapham High Street!). So, apart from first thing in the morning (gentle wake up), it's no more Radio 4!  Having said that, I did listen to Woman's Hour the other day where there was quite an interesting interview with a host of ladies about how to stay married.  Apparently Louise Mench has made some remark about women not letting themselves go or making sure they look glam for their husband.  And Jilly Cooper has reissued her book from 1969.  Programme is on Iplayer or through this link (10th November) - http://tunein.com/radio/Womans-Hour-p657/

Anyway, I have finally done a bit more sewing.  Isobel's hair is beginning to go a bit nuts so I made her a hairband!  It took slightly longer than I thought it would but I think the finished item is ok really - especially considering it's (a) pink and (b) made from fabric my mum had when I was little!

Great link to some hairband tutorials here - http://www.sewchicandunique.com/tag/headbandhairband/

I love those curly blond locks!

 Finally, I thought I would share another apple activity - as you know, we seem to have had a lot of apples (mainly through Peter foraging!) and I've slowly been turning them into things to make them last longer.  Last week I made a spiced apple cake (when testing out the cake release) and over the weekend we had a joint effort at some spiced apple chutney! 

We used this lovely book to instruct us (it's a great book - soooo many recipes and easy for people without a lot of jam making skill!) Jams, Preserves and Chutneys by Marguerite Patten.  Basically you need about 2lb apples (when peeled and cored), 1lb onions, some mixed spice (1 tsp), vinegar, raisins/sultanas and 350g soft brown sugar [will post details later - children just woken up!].  To sterilise the jars I always use the same method - wash the jars then put in a cool-ish oven at 140 deg until you need them.

Busy, Busy, Busy....not just eating too many biscuits

Upside down biscuits!

I don't know what's come over me - I've been doing all sorts of random cooking and sewing!  I think it's having the evenings to myself but not being able to run as there is no one to look after the little ones if they wake up!  Arty has a cold so I've been smearing him with vicks, including on his feet which I remember reading somewhere was meant to help.....lets see.

So last night, I set about learning something new - quilting.  I had this great idea to make coasters for Xmas presents.....mmmh.  To help me out I opened a box of waitrose biscuits (on special - £2.75 a box) and they were so yummy I ate a few too many....it was Mrs WP's fault - texting me that her waters had broken whilst sitting on the sofa!  Mine broke with Arthur (not really with Isobel) and it was quite a hollywood moment - gutted that I wasn't in John Lewis or Marks and Sparks with potential for a trolley dash (is that an urban myth???).

Anyway, I think the biscuits addled my brain.  My first attempt at quilting was not that successful.  I was trying to make these bound edge coasters which required 3 layers of batting sandwiched in two layers of fabric and then really tight quilting....and clearly with a steady hand so you can make it vaguely straight...something I don't have.  So if you look at the pictures on the link and then look at the picture below, you'll see why I decided that frankly Arthur could just have an unfinished one as a toy!

Completely not straight

Much better as toy!

But I perservered - and tried a slightly less tricky one which only had one layer of batting....not great but better than the previous one.  Don't think coasters are going to be the Christmas present of choice somehow!

Health Health, low calorie!

And today was another new day.  Isobel was in nursery for the day and as Arthur was full of cold I continued on my making spree.   Finally rid myself of the butternut squash in the fridge and made a squash soup, then turned my attention to the massive box of apples which are slowly going a bit mouldy in the garage!  One lot turned into an apple, sultana and cinnamon stew for Arthur and Isobel, and with the other I decided to try out and review the cake release spray I found at the lovely Lakeland:

£3.99 from Lakeland

 I was a bit dubious about getting it but someone had mentioned that it worked really well.  I'm a bit slapdash normally when it comes to greasing cakes so they end up getting stuck.  This only needs a tiny bit and you then brush it round the tin with a pastry brush.  Pour in the mixture (in my case an apple cake) and then bake.  The result?  Well, the cake just popped out.  It was great.  So, a good investment if you bake a lot.

Here is the finished cake with lovely smooth edges!

And finally, I decided to have a go at sewing another purse - this time with a flat bottom.  Now I found the instructions on a website somewhere and now can'tfind the link.  I'll add it when I do.  It's a good set of instructions and I'm quite pleased with the result.  Might make some more - practice makes perfect!

And this is the flat bottom

Chinese elvis and a bagel

"Why don't you write a blog?" my husband asked as I looked at yet another blog about baking and making buttons out of fimo (I didn't know you could that!).....

So here I am, mother to two little ones aged 2 years and 4 months, and 5 months old. My husband is a lovely man, but happens to be 6ft5 so is primarily to blame for the fact that little one no. 2 (aka Arty) was 10lb12oz. I'm on maternity leave, trying to balance the terrible twos, the reflux and the post-baby belly with attempting to learn new skills to keep my brain working. I was diagnosed with post natal depression which has proved challenging but is now (hopefully!) on the way out. The advice (apart from 'eat green vegetables and take omega-3') was to find more me time, do something to focus my mind and achieve something. Writing this blog is one of the things I thought I would try and hope it will provide a space to share not only some of the fun and joy of raising two kids, but also the hard times and the attempts to bake, garden and sew!

Yesterday I had my first day off in ages - went to London and found myself on the Old Kent Road looking for a spa with a friend....I was keenly looking out for chinese elvis who I remember seeing with much amusement about 10 years ago before I headed off to South West China. That gyrating pelvis and rendition of 'are you r-onesome tonight' is something I won't forget. Apparently the restaurant (Elvis grace lands palace) has gone now.

Last night I finished another craft project - my first attempt at a corded pillow cover. In a vague attempt not to bake as much (Tackling the baby belly), I decided to learn to sew. My old sewing teacher would fall over at this - my mum almost did. I was 'strongly recommended' not to do needlework at school - kept on breaking the machine. Having had a quote for curtains and feeling my jaw drop to the floor, I decided it was time to give it a go. Trying to find the time to sew is fun - small children and sewing machines don't seem to mix that well, though Isobel does love the bag I made even if it's big enough to fit her in! In between the peppa pig and iggle piggle books, I purchased a sewing book to give me instruction. It's great. This is it.

So far I've made two cushion covers (see grainy photo below - Tanya Wheelan fabric I think)
 

and a bag.....but don't seem to have reduced the baking as I demonstrated this afternoon. Having attempted to get both little ones to the swings and back without Isobel running off into the road shouting 'don't want buggy, want to walk', I persuaded her that a little mixing might be undertaken if she would hold on to mummy's hand. Eventually she did and the result was lots of fun making bagels. I followed the nigella recipe from 'How to be a domestic goddess' because it was there and handy. I never knew you boiled them. Some photos of the fun we had mixing, boiling and cooling them below. Hubby says he is a very lucky man though I'm not sure that the judges on the Great British Bakeoff would be that impressed given that most of them appear to have come out without holes and are bagel shaped only if you look at them at an angle!   We will be trying them for breakfast I think.