How much poo? I'm staggered. He's barely eating anything and yet it still comes out! Quite scary really, though it doesn't seem to upset him very much. The doctor said 'give him flat lemonade' to help with rehydration. He didn't like that. He managed to clamp his mouth soooo tightly shut I thought someone might call social services if they saw me trying to find a way to syringe this liquid into his mouth!!! He's had some rehydration fluid today - doesn't like that either but I sneakily kept swapping between his milk and the fluid and so far so good. Here's hoping he doesn't cotton on tomorrow!
I watched One Born Every Minute last night. Why do I do that to myself? I watch it and feel the stress levels rising - I'm amazed by the women who can give birth with no pain relief whatsoever, especially in about 3 seconds (OK, so I'm exaggerating). Isobel didn't want to come out - it took forever. I laugh when I hear midwives saying 'no, you're not in active labour yet, you're only 2 cm dilated' when you've been huffing and puffing and screaming in pain for 10 hours! Only 8 more cm to go! Ha ha. Arthur was induced - well, they attempted to induce him, twice. Did it work? Did it hell. There I was in the induction suite (sounds posh, it wasn't - it was very hot, as are most maternity units I think), and despite two lots of gel, huge amounts of vomit, lots of poking about looking to see if anything changed - nothing. Nada. And then there were the ladies who came in, just seemed to look at the induction gel stuff and were off, babies practically out in seconds!
So, whilst watching One Born (and thinking to myself - never again), I heard one of the ladies on there saying 'I'll have failed if I have an epidural'. And I thought to myself, how sad that is that the baby isn't even born and already women have somehow got this guilt complex going on that they have to have the perfect birth, perfect contractions, no drugs, gently humming etc otherwise they have failed. In an ideal world maybe we would all just give birth whilst sitting in a pool of water surrounded by floating candles, relaxing music and the smell of freshly baked bread, but it's not ideal. Someone said to me - think of all those women in Africa who just go into a hut and give birth with nothing, no drugs, nothing. I know, I agree, I have huge respect for them. But it's also worth thinking of the vast numbers who die in that process or whose babies die because they get stuck etc. Anyway, I digress. I suppose I just noted the whole 'guilt' thing starting so early. I had an epidural. Do I feel guilty? No, I don't. I had vomited for almost 2 days with Isobel and could barely scrape myself off the floor only to be told I was only 2 cm gone. The midwife actually said - we need you to get some rest, you have a long way to go, and you need to have energy to deal with the new baby. Isobel and Arthur are both here. Both happy and both healthy. And I'm here still, and healthy and happy (most of the time). For me that was the end goal - to get the baby out safely and for me to be safe. If that means I needed drugs, so be it.
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