Want to sponsor a marathon runner?

A bit late I know but two good friends are running today for two very good but very different charities - so if you are feeling the urge: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=MarekPetecki And http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=Chrisblamey Go on, you know you want to!

Peppa pig marathon runner

So isobel thinks I should run the marathon as Peppa Pig! What do we think? Would have to be for charity dressed like that!

Seeing a skylark

I am sitting here with the London marathon on in the background and Arthur desperate to play peppa pig with Isobel (she's not having any of it) and reflecting on how emotional it makes me to see the start line! It always brings a tear to my eye. Why on earth I hear you say? I just think its an emotional sporting event - I've run it 3 times and the sense of elation when you finish is quite amazing. All those months of running in whatever weather, eating extra bars of chocolate, then running with people who are running to raise money for all the causes you can think of. Their kids, the illnesses they have, in memory of people, the lifeboats and so on. The emotion really comes out, especially for those running to raise funds for research or care in diseases which have taken someone away from them. Quite inspirational.

But then I also think I'm shedding a year now because it is a part of my life which is in the past - for now....I can see another one is still in me! Now I can barely run up a hill!

Oh well. In my new life I go for lovely walks along the river playing hide and seek with Isobel (who, it must be said, hasn't quite got the rules sorted - when you say where is Isobel she comes running out saying 'here I am'), running through the meadows and very excitedly seeing a skylark singing its happy song! It was lovely. We all stood and watched it for quite a while, going up and down into the meadow.

Not quite the same as running 26 miles but really lovely!

Now we are three.....

And so far, we've been quite a challenge!  I find going to work to be a huge relief - is that wrong?  At work I can go to the toilet with no one wanting to get me out, scream at me, hit her brother and so on and so on.

Isobel has been crying.  A lot.  It's as though she turned three and decided to turn on the tears.  This sometimes brings me to tears.  Everything ends up being some form of tantrum or meltdown.  OK, so I might be exaggerating but that is how it feels!  I see other 3 year olds sitting there, quietly getting on with their jigsaw puzzle or drinking their drink and I wonder how they manage it as mine screams or runs around like a nutter!  It's not as though I don't try to discipline her - I've tried focusing on the 'big stuff' and not nit picking.  I've tried rewards/stickers.  I've tried the 'time out step'.  I'm worn out from trying!  I find myself blaming myself for having done something wrong - does she resent the fact that I'm back at work? Does she resent the fact that Arthur came along? Does she get enough to eat? Too much? Enough sleep? Too much?  I'm tired.  I'm tired of dreading my days off when she wakes up screaming and continues all day.  She is so lovely when she's calm and relaxed and playing but recently she just hasn't been doing that all that much!  Is it the PND, is it still there making me more sensitive or is it just her? Just a phase she is going through?

Juggling work and children is tiring.  I think it's tiring because you almost want your days at home with them to be lovely and to do lots of fun things.  So it's sad when they aren't and when your children don't seem to be happy.  The constant rushing from a to b - to drop them off, pick them up, make sure there is something to eat, pay the bills, get up earlier than normal is tiring too.  There also seems to be less time to see your partner!  I've taken than on too - trying to book in some time with babysitters so we can go out to the pub or something.  Peter is lovely, but he is also quite happy to just be in, putting the children to bed and sitting on the sofa (not necessarily watching TV as we have TV free nights!). I like that too, but I also want to feel like a person again - not just a mother to two lovely children!  A couple of hours out every now and then can make all the difference!

Anyway, I shouldn't moan.  We are all quite happy really and I'm lucky to have such great children and a lovely husband, however much they might challenge me at times!

Why why why......peanut butter and marmite what?

I am laughing as I write this. I am being told off for teaching Isobel bad habits. She has started asking 'why' with a vengeance. So the conversation goes something like this:
Isobel, can you put your shoes on?
Why?
Because its cold outside.
Why?
Because its been raining.
Why?
Because the clouds were heavy.
Why?
Because they had drunk too much water.
Why?
.........

And so on. And obviously I am wanting to encourage equal questioning of daddy so I am encouraging it! Hee hee. 'Daddy has to go to work'....'why?'.....'because he does'......'why?'......

And thinking of daddy, Peter is shocked. I made him peanut butter and marmite sandwiches for work the other day. On granary bread of course (to vaguely improve the nutrition levels!). Anyway, he said he was eating them and couldn't work out why the peanut butter he could see tasted like marmite. And when I told him he thought I was some kind of freak - marmite and peanut butter....whatever next? He has heard of peanut butter and jam (or jelly I think he calls it having spent time in the US) but marmite. He declared I must be alone in such a weird sarnie filling. But no! There are whole websites dedicated to it as a sandwich filling! So, despite the fact that everyone he has told has agreed with him, he quite likes it really!

And yes, he does make my sandwiches too. We try to take it in turns. His fillings are sonar to mine. Sometimes we mange cheese and salad but marmalade is often a favourite! Got to love being like Paddington bear!

I can't believe he's one

Where has the time gone?  So I made the jolly green dinosaur and jolly pleased I was too!

It went down a treat too.

Work is still going well.  In fact, I'm really enjoying it which is good.  I'm strict on my hours but it's going OK and the men I work with (and women) are great.  It's interesting though as I've worked for some quite high powered women in the past - women with children who I thought would be understanding about the need to leave to pick up children and the challenges in balancing it all.  They weren't quite as understanding as I thought they might be.  It eventually came out that that's because they had nannies - nannies who were there bright and early, all day and sometimes at night too! So no rushing from A to B to drop them off, pick them up, think about tea, do the washing, get to work, and so on and so on.  The men I'm working with on the other hand are full of the old 'I wish I'd spent more time with my kids when they were little'. 

So we're now gearing up for Isobel turning 3.  Will the tantrums stop? Ha. I do wonder.  After today's performance.  We went to an Easter Egg Hunt (the first of a few she has been invited to).  To start with she was a little unsure of what to do.  I could see this look of 'why is everyone else running about all excited? What do I do with this plastic pot?'. But she soon got the hang of it and piled up the eggs....and then promptly sat down and started unwrapping them and shovelling them in as quickly as she could.  Anyone would think they were going to get up and walk!  Eventually I thought, that's probably enough now (as she was practically bursting chocolate out of every part of her!) so I had to remove them.  Oh my. Oh my.  One and a half hours of screaming.  And lying on the ground. And screaming a bit more.  What did the other children do?  Look at her then carry on eating their breadsticks.  Oh the joy.  How I needed a gin at 11am!

She has since almost forgotten about the eggs which I've put away in the fridge ready for Easter itself.  Clearly I am some sort of mean mummy.  Fancy taking the eggs away from her.  She did actually vomit up chocolate though so I think I was right!  A friend told me once how everyone had told them about the terrible twos but no one had mentioned how three year olds might become 'demonic' (that might have been a bit harsh but it got the message across!).

She is lovely though.  We made hot cross buns this afternoon.  To take to Grandma.  I'm slightly concerned that they are going to be full of her hair but ho hum.  Since when did a bit of hair hurt?  She is now in bed singing the Sound of Music very very loudly to her 'little rabbit' (which is actually Arthur's but he doesn't seem to have noticed).

I'm slowly reducing the pills as per the doctors orders.  Now on 50mg a day for the next 10 days, then 50mg every other day then nothing! Am feeling OK about it.  Slightly scared as I seem to be feeling awfully tired and have a strange taste in my mouth (is that the pills? I am hoping it's either that or PMT and not anything else!!!!).

Right, I think that gin is most definately calling!!!