Monday 5 March 2012

Work is finally here....

And it actually was quite a nice day. Last week was hard though. Arthur hated going to nursery to settle in. I sat in the car crying after dropping him off and poor Isobel was very upset to see me upset. 'I don't like you mummy' which was hard even though I know she was referring to not liking me crying. It's strange, it felt like that impending doom you feel when you have an exam due and you just want the day to arrive but at the same time you don't!

My insomnia came back on the Friday night and I was gripped with a fear that I couldn't cope with it but I remained as calm as I could and so far sleep has got better again, though still not great.  All the images of the past few years, including memories of times before Arthur was born came flooding back. The sadness is normal I think. It seems more pronounced this time as I know that we won't have any more so its a time of life which won't be repeated. I was chuckling with a friend on Saturday about how I had sat in the car basically thinking how 'that's it, I have to work until they nail me down now'.....how uplifting!

But I mist say, Peter did cook a very good pork pie in Saturday as a treat - complete with a hot water crust pastry! Oh I wonder if the GBBO will be back soon to distract me from the chore of getting on the train. 


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